your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
