Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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