He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
