super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
