They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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