don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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