Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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