I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That's intense
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
