they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
