Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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