Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
