So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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