i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
