So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
