I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
