I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
