I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
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