So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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