I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
