operation harelip BJ is a go
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
