dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
