Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
