Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
