My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize