I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
