i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
