You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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