I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
