8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
