i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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