i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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