Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
