wat bout pragnant strippers??
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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