i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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