it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
