we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
