he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
