I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
