what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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