great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize
