i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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