return my video game
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize