we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
