hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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