the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
