"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
