that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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