dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
