I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I came so hard my ears popped.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
