He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
