the condom got lost in my hair
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You need Xanax blowdarts
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
