I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
