You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
