I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
