i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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