So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
