I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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