She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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