i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
