Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
