Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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